The challenge was straightforward: combine miles, beers, and donuts to total 200, using any strategy I preferred. My plan was to maximize milage, then fill in on the back end with donuts and beer. I figured that 140 miles, 48 donuts, and 12 beers would be a reasonable breakdown.
7:00 am: Pushed off after 4 donuts and a coffee, felt strong, pedaled along the river in the crispy morning air.
9:00 am: Dunkin', I sucked down six donuts (1500 calories) in 10 minutes likely grossing out the employees. Back on the bike - the subsequent miles were unpleasant but not debilitating.
12:00 pm: The gravity of what was going on here set in. With the balance still ahead we could do the math, miles and donuts consumed versus miles, donuts, and beer left ahead. The daylight wasn’t there and I sensed trouble.
4:00 pm: Sick. My initial strategy was to go for the cheaper Walmart variety donuts, and that was a miscalculation. Although cheaper, they were much bigger and more caloric than other choices. I ate four of them for breakfast. Then had an additional 20 waiting to be eaten at home, something that gnawed at me throughout the day.
6:30 pm: darkness fell and defeated me from a safety perspective. No bike lights and no clothes for the nighttime winter cold.
8:30 pm: bus arrived and carried me back to Denver.
Despite the failure we gained critical learnings on how to get the job done on the next attempt. Plus another lesson. Never underestimate the power of a donut. Who knew that something so delightful could be so formidable. When pitted against dozens of them, even the most seasoned athletes may find their match.
Total count: 124 miles, 14 donuts, 0 beers. Clearly should have gone 1 mile, 3 donuts, and 196 beers.
Onwards,
Ian
Do you have a favorite donut after all that?