Writing from the states, can’t fall asleep and got the notification you posted. I’m a current college senior trying to figure out my own journey, & watching your videos honestly keeps me grounded as to how many different paths I can take. Simultaneously exciting & terrifying, but as you said, do the thing that scares you. Downloaded Substack just to read your posts. Keep pushing, thanks for the update.
The world is wide and vast and offers you many, many paths to explore, Mallory! It is unbelievably scary but there's something grounding in the fact you are the captain of your own ship. I remember when I was in your shoes at the end of my time in university, the whole world in front of me. It was scary as hell and I had no idea what I was doing. Frankly, a couple years later the world is still in front of me, vast offering so much to explore. I believe it always will be like this. Stay true to yourself always and keep chasing your dreams!!!
“Fear isn’t the stop sign we were sold. It’s a compass.” Oh man. I will try to be more brave from now on. I hope you consider writing a book someday. People could learn so, so much from you. Wishing you a speedy Chinese visa. You’re almost there. Much love from Texas.
what you’re describing reads to me like a very old psychoanalytic truth. Freud would say the thing that provokes the greatest fear is the thing saturated with desire, the thing that touches the unconscious most directly. i see it in real life and in the clinic all the time. we're frightened by what has the power to shift the coordinates of who we are. and Lacan would say that anxiety shows up not where something is dangerous, but where something of our desire is too close, when we brush against “the real” aka that part of us that isn’t yet symbolized, that exceeds our stories about who we think we are. what u said about publishing the heroin piece/talking to someone u like/telling ur dad you’re proud of him etc, those are way scarier than Taliban checkpoint fear because they’re the ones that touch the inside. anyways,big fan here, always look forward to your posts. you're a wonderful thinker and writer, and im wishing u the best in getting thru to china
I always thought that often the people we consider brave are the ones who, for whatever reason, happen not to feel fear about a thing the rest of us do. Running into battle or telling someone a difficult truth are easy if you lack a sense of your own mortality or the delicacy of other people's feelings. Real courage, it seems to me, is when you feel the fear and do it anyways. Which, Ian, is exactly what you have.
In a world full of contrived, lame social media content, it was the authenticity and the gritty nature of your Africa journey that caught my attention. And it’s why I’m still here watching you account grow by 20 or 30xs. Let me be the first to say, you’re the furthest thing from an imposter. Move forward with confidence that you did this. You made this happen. And you created something that others find valuable.
Hang in there buddy, I feel like that visa is coming sooner than later. And if you’re not feeling it head to Korea.
I’m so happy to see your post! Also, like Mallory laying in bed and can’t sleep. I recently took a trip to Egypt with my 16 year old daughter. I had never been to that part of the world. Only Europe which is basically a charming and smaller America lol if I’m being honest I was terrified, being so close to the conflict in Gaza, being in Africa, not being a Muslim in a predominantly Muslim country …. And just the 16hr flight from SFO to Doha (as someone with flying anxiety) was a lot. But I had no choice but to be brave because I had my 16 year old daughter with me and I’m the Mom! Long story short, the trip was incredible, the country and history was incredible… just being on new soil and breathing the fresh air reminded me why I love to travel. The trip left such an impact we both got Egypt inspired tattoos to never forget the trip. Doing the scary thing always wins… staying stuck where you are right now feels scary and uncomfortable…. So it sounds like you’re in the right place to be. What’s meant to happen will happen when it’s supposed to…. Trust the process. No need to rush off on a plane. Be present in Mongolia and see what it has to offer you! Maybe there is something there you still need to learn … like a video game. You need to pass a check point or complete a side quest but you just don’t know what it is yet. Keep the posts coming! We love them… please share your Mongolian daily adventures. Even if it’s noodles, chicken and lattes lol 😘
I have flying anxiety too, Emily! I’ve embraced it, because every time I fly I remind myself that I’m doing a courageous thing by facing my fear. Your trip sounds amazing!! I love that you got tattoos!
Ian, in a world misinformation where we have to question everything we see/hear, your “brand” is the fact that you are genuine. You share it all - even the warts and it is so appreciated!
Your video about the Russian man who turned his car around to bring you up that pass not only brought tears to my eyes, it made me broaden my views. I despise their leader and what he is doing to the Ukrainians but I can’t despise all of its people (many yes, but not all). It made me reflect to not paint a country and its people with a broad brush.
I work with seniors, several of them in their late 80’s or early 90’s who are world travellers. Some fought in wars, others have taken time to volunteer to make the lives of some of the people in the countries they visit a better place, even if it’s just for a week. Many they have stayed in contact with.
I read them your content and it inspires in-depth conversations and sparks memories of long forgotten stories of their own travels. One is a teacher who comments about how well you write. She feels that you should definitely write a book about all of your adventures.
We appreciate your perspective on the world. How random people just invite you into their lives with no questions asks reminds us that we are not as divided as social media/algorithms/politicians would like us to think we are.
My husband has been telling me that we should subscribe to you. We enjoy all your videos, your Substack posts and how it gives us a different perspective on parts of the world we would never be brave enough to travel to. While you sit and “rot” maybe you should take a 85 year old teachers advice…start the book. As of today I’ve subscribed to your Substack to keep you warm in a $14/day motel and keep the Mongolian milk flowing. We can’t wait for your next post.
Ian, I totally get what you're saying here about fear being your guide. By not shying away from the things you fear, you've broken so much new ground in your life and overcome many mental obstacles. Admirable, exciting, invigorating to do so.
What is the flip side? Well as a biologist I am reminded that fear is an evolutionary adaptation to best ensure our survival from moments of REAL danger. So absolutely KEEP PUSHING the boundaries and running toward fearful moments that lead to deep personal growth, but do recognize the moments of fear that are there to protect you from ACTUAL danger, and please don't run toward them at full speed! 🤣 How to distinguish them? It's hard to say and you are certainly the best judge. I say this because all of us care about you and what happens to you, even if we are strangers! The ability of humans to connect and be social is powerful! ❤️
Another person from the states here who's up far too late. I graduated college 6 months ago and worry often about not having it all figured out. Lots of anxiety and discomfort right now and I just really appreciated this post. Thank you for putting everything out here on the substack, really grateful to watch your journey. We're all rooting for you. Hope this visa comes through soon!
Great post man! We all need the reminder that growth and comfort are antonyms. I’m gonna welcome more fear into my life. By the way, that Mongolian girl probably thought you were super interesting. Cheers from Texas!
Your story and openness to sharing the reality of what you’re experiencing is so damn helpful and hopeful. Just a week ago I decided on a whim to move to a city 1,000 miles away, leaving a comfortable job, a nice house, and a relationship I care dearly about, to live in a place where I know no one nor anything. No job lined up, nothing but a shoebox apartment there to greet me. I’m horrified, sick to my stomach everyday. But I’ve finally made the decision to move somewhere I’ve always dreamed of, hopefully affording myself the opportunities I’ve always longed for. Everyone is telling me I’m making a horrible mistake or musing, “wow… you’re so… brave!” So thanks for reminding me that it’s okay to do the risky things other people wouldn’t do. I’m glad I chose to follow what I’m scared of.
The first time I traveled to Afghanistan in 2005, I was a student at ASU pursuing a BFA in photography. I had talked one of my professors into being my faculty advisor for an Independent Study Project in Photography. I almost immediately began to have second thoughts about going, and in fact, I informed my advisor that I was withdrawing due to a minor medical issue.
What I usually do when I have to make a big decision is look for "signs from the universe" or synchronicity. One Sunday, I was sitting in Mass at St Matthew's Parish in Phoenix, AZ, and the priest was giving a homily about Jesus's 40 days in the desert. He said something to the effect of "You don't have to know what you're going to do when you get to the desert. Just get to the desert". I knew immediately that I was going.
I'm currently getting ready to travel with my cat Gus to Switzerland, Portugal, and Spain, and run the Neujahrsmarathon Zürich 10.55k @ midnight on New Year's Eve. The angst isn't about the travel or the running. It's that I've never traveled internationally with Gus the Cat.
Thank you for the reminder that fear is a normal response to doing something challenging. Every time that I've done something scary, it has paid off in spades.
Your vulnerability inspires me. Of course, I’m rooting for you to finish your goal in Japan, but I’m actually more interested in all those tiny decisions you make that inch you forward bit by bit every day. You’ll figure it out, and I can’t wait to hear how. Prayers and good vibes from Central Texas. ✌️
I love your content. You are so damn inspiring. I sit on my cosy sofa following your adventure, there is no envy, just pure enjoyment as I recognise this is your adventure not mine.
That is your raw talent in sharing real you.
I'm here for it. When I actually start selling my art I'll subscribe to paid, that's a promise.
Are you still taking care packages from the States? What's a good address if you are? I ask fully knowing you may be gone by the time the package arrives. Cheers and thank you for sharing your adventure and all of its facets.
Writing from the states, can’t fall asleep and got the notification you posted. I’m a current college senior trying to figure out my own journey, & watching your videos honestly keeps me grounded as to how many different paths I can take. Simultaneously exciting & terrifying, but as you said, do the thing that scares you. Downloaded Substack just to read your posts. Keep pushing, thanks for the update.
The world is wide and vast and offers you many, many paths to explore, Mallory! It is unbelievably scary but there's something grounding in the fact you are the captain of your own ship. I remember when I was in your shoes at the end of my time in university, the whole world in front of me. It was scary as hell and I had no idea what I was doing. Frankly, a couple years later the world is still in front of me, vast offering so much to explore. I believe it always will be like this. Stay true to yourself always and keep chasing your dreams!!!
I also joined substack specifically for this page 😂 and now I’m addicted! I’m excited for the journey that will unfold ahead of you, Mallory.
“Fear isn’t the stop sign we were sold. It’s a compass.” Oh man. I will try to be more brave from now on. I hope you consider writing a book someday. People could learn so, so much from you. Wishing you a speedy Chinese visa. You’re almost there. Much love from Texas.
what you’re describing reads to me like a very old psychoanalytic truth. Freud would say the thing that provokes the greatest fear is the thing saturated with desire, the thing that touches the unconscious most directly. i see it in real life and in the clinic all the time. we're frightened by what has the power to shift the coordinates of who we are. and Lacan would say that anxiety shows up not where something is dangerous, but where something of our desire is too close, when we brush against “the real” aka that part of us that isn’t yet symbolized, that exceeds our stories about who we think we are. what u said about publishing the heroin piece/talking to someone u like/telling ur dad you’re proud of him etc, those are way scarier than Taliban checkpoint fear because they’re the ones that touch the inside. anyways,big fan here, always look forward to your posts. you're a wonderful thinker and writer, and im wishing u the best in getting thru to china
I always thought that often the people we consider brave are the ones who, for whatever reason, happen not to feel fear about a thing the rest of us do. Running into battle or telling someone a difficult truth are easy if you lack a sense of your own mortality or the delicacy of other people's feelings. Real courage, it seems to me, is when you feel the fear and do it anyways. Which, Ian, is exactly what you have.
In a world full of contrived, lame social media content, it was the authenticity and the gritty nature of your Africa journey that caught my attention. And it’s why I’m still here watching you account grow by 20 or 30xs. Let me be the first to say, you’re the furthest thing from an imposter. Move forward with confidence that you did this. You made this happen. And you created something that others find valuable.
Hang in there buddy, I feel like that visa is coming sooner than later. And if you’re not feeling it head to Korea.
I’m so happy to see your post! Also, like Mallory laying in bed and can’t sleep. I recently took a trip to Egypt with my 16 year old daughter. I had never been to that part of the world. Only Europe which is basically a charming and smaller America lol if I’m being honest I was terrified, being so close to the conflict in Gaza, being in Africa, not being a Muslim in a predominantly Muslim country …. And just the 16hr flight from SFO to Doha (as someone with flying anxiety) was a lot. But I had no choice but to be brave because I had my 16 year old daughter with me and I’m the Mom! Long story short, the trip was incredible, the country and history was incredible… just being on new soil and breathing the fresh air reminded me why I love to travel. The trip left such an impact we both got Egypt inspired tattoos to never forget the trip. Doing the scary thing always wins… staying stuck where you are right now feels scary and uncomfortable…. So it sounds like you’re in the right place to be. What’s meant to happen will happen when it’s supposed to…. Trust the process. No need to rush off on a plane. Be present in Mongolia and see what it has to offer you! Maybe there is something there you still need to learn … like a video game. You need to pass a check point or complete a side quest but you just don’t know what it is yet. Keep the posts coming! We love them… please share your Mongolian daily adventures. Even if it’s noodles, chicken and lattes lol 😘
I have flying anxiety too, Emily! I’ve embraced it, because every time I fly I remind myself that I’m doing a courageous thing by facing my fear. Your trip sounds amazing!! I love that you got tattoos!
Ian, in a world misinformation where we have to question everything we see/hear, your “brand” is the fact that you are genuine. You share it all - even the warts and it is so appreciated!
Your video about the Russian man who turned his car around to bring you up that pass not only brought tears to my eyes, it made me broaden my views. I despise their leader and what he is doing to the Ukrainians but I can’t despise all of its people (many yes, but not all). It made me reflect to not paint a country and its people with a broad brush.
I work with seniors, several of them in their late 80’s or early 90’s who are world travellers. Some fought in wars, others have taken time to volunteer to make the lives of some of the people in the countries they visit a better place, even if it’s just for a week. Many they have stayed in contact with.
I read them your content and it inspires in-depth conversations and sparks memories of long forgotten stories of their own travels. One is a teacher who comments about how well you write. She feels that you should definitely write a book about all of your adventures.
We appreciate your perspective on the world. How random people just invite you into their lives with no questions asks reminds us that we are not as divided as social media/algorithms/politicians would like us to think we are.
My husband has been telling me that we should subscribe to you. We enjoy all your videos, your Substack posts and how it gives us a different perspective on parts of the world we would never be brave enough to travel to. While you sit and “rot” maybe you should take a 85 year old teachers advice…start the book. As of today I’ve subscribed to your Substack to keep you warm in a $14/day motel and keep the Mongolian milk flowing. We can’t wait for your next post.
Ian, I totally get what you're saying here about fear being your guide. By not shying away from the things you fear, you've broken so much new ground in your life and overcome many mental obstacles. Admirable, exciting, invigorating to do so.
What is the flip side? Well as a biologist I am reminded that fear is an evolutionary adaptation to best ensure our survival from moments of REAL danger. So absolutely KEEP PUSHING the boundaries and running toward fearful moments that lead to deep personal growth, but do recognize the moments of fear that are there to protect you from ACTUAL danger, and please don't run toward them at full speed! 🤣 How to distinguish them? It's hard to say and you are certainly the best judge. I say this because all of us care about you and what happens to you, even if we are strangers! The ability of humans to connect and be social is powerful! ❤️
Another person from the states here who's up far too late. I graduated college 6 months ago and worry often about not having it all figured out. Lots of anxiety and discomfort right now and I just really appreciated this post. Thank you for putting everything out here on the substack, really grateful to watch your journey. We're all rooting for you. Hope this visa comes through soon!
Great post man! We all need the reminder that growth and comfort are antonyms. I’m gonna welcome more fear into my life. By the way, that Mongolian girl probably thought you were super interesting. Cheers from Texas!
Your story and openness to sharing the reality of what you’re experiencing is so damn helpful and hopeful. Just a week ago I decided on a whim to move to a city 1,000 miles away, leaving a comfortable job, a nice house, and a relationship I care dearly about, to live in a place where I know no one nor anything. No job lined up, nothing but a shoebox apartment there to greet me. I’m horrified, sick to my stomach everyday. But I’ve finally made the decision to move somewhere I’ve always dreamed of, hopefully affording myself the opportunities I’ve always longed for. Everyone is telling me I’m making a horrible mistake or musing, “wow… you’re so… brave!” So thanks for reminding me that it’s okay to do the risky things other people wouldn’t do. I’m glad I chose to follow what I’m scared of.
The first time I traveled to Afghanistan in 2005, I was a student at ASU pursuing a BFA in photography. I had talked one of my professors into being my faculty advisor for an Independent Study Project in Photography. I almost immediately began to have second thoughts about going, and in fact, I informed my advisor that I was withdrawing due to a minor medical issue.
What I usually do when I have to make a big decision is look for "signs from the universe" or synchronicity. One Sunday, I was sitting in Mass at St Matthew's Parish in Phoenix, AZ, and the priest was giving a homily about Jesus's 40 days in the desert. He said something to the effect of "You don't have to know what you're going to do when you get to the desert. Just get to the desert". I knew immediately that I was going.
I'm currently getting ready to travel with my cat Gus to Switzerland, Portugal, and Spain, and run the Neujahrsmarathon Zürich 10.55k @ midnight on New Year's Eve. The angst isn't about the travel or the running. It's that I've never traveled internationally with Gus the Cat.
Thank you for the reminder that fear is a normal response to doing something challenging. Every time that I've done something scary, it has paid off in spades.
Carry on!
Your vulnerability inspires me. Of course, I’m rooting for you to finish your goal in Japan, but I’m actually more interested in all those tiny decisions you make that inch you forward bit by bit every day. You’ll figure it out, and I can’t wait to hear how. Prayers and good vibes from Central Texas. ✌️
I love your content. You are so damn inspiring. I sit on my cosy sofa following your adventure, there is no envy, just pure enjoyment as I recognise this is your adventure not mine.
That is your raw talent in sharing real you.
I'm here for it. When I actually start selling my art I'll subscribe to paid, that's a promise.
Thanks for making me braver.
Much love ❤️ Sarah.
The honesty is inspiring, and not in an “pick me” attention way. Loving it as always, cheering you on from Minnesota
Are you still taking care packages from the States? What's a good address if you are? I ask fully knowing you may be gone by the time the package arrives. Cheers and thank you for sharing your adventure and all of its facets.